I’ve been embroiled in some things that have kept me from this blog for a little while now. It’s not just the typical, run-of-the-mill mental health crises that have kept me from the keys—no, this time it’s something splendid. I’m currently in the process of turning this website into something else.
I’ve been talking to several different people about several different projects, as well as ironing out the things I want to accomplish this year. I’ve never been one to set real goals for myself, and when I lay it all out, it seems like a full plate, but I have such a burning desire to create something that it just doesn’t matter to me. These are the five things I’m committed to starting and finishing this year. The shows with Lindsay and Tyler, I want them to be successful and continue after they start. The third project is something that should (if all goes according to plan) be something that wraps up by spring, but the other two, the other two are ghosts. They haunt me—almost compel me to finish them so I can move on, unshackle this weight from my ankle and go for a walk again.
So, what I’m really trying to say in this post is that I may not write in the blog as much as I was planning on, but there’s going to be a steady stream of work with flowing out of me regardless. I think I write posts like this for myself more than anything. I’ve been thinking a lot about the source of my anxiety, and how my self-imposed production schedule is a big thing with that. The subconscious need of a podcast to come out weekly with a companion post is real, but its kind of ruining my life. I’ve thought this way for about four years now and its time to break away. I don’t want to create content, I want to create real things. What I was striving to was just a content farm, trying to stay active enough that Google would index enough, and I’d be pulled onto the first page of the “Fat Dog” search results (#1 result is a marathon, if you’re wondering). None of that matters to me. It’s not about quantity anymore with me, it’s about quality.
The best posts on this blog are spur of the moment craters of emotion, and I want to keep it that way. I don’t want to become disingenuous just to drive traffic. I’d rather tell the truth to the walls than fake-talk to millions. I’ve decided to take the Fat Dog podcast monthly, reading what I feel to be the best posts of the month, which will lead to longer episodes and ultimately, a more satisfying show. It gives me an excuse to pull my head out of writing and play some music to fill the silence in the shows and removes and sense of deadlines from me. All in all, releasing the sense of “need” from the Fat Dog blog and podcast, will allow me to grow Fat Dog as a brand. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s already paying off.
I’ve been talking with my friend Lindsay about co-producing a comedy podcast for the website, not a different version of Fat Dog for the hundredth time, but a stand-alone comedy podcast that isn’t hosted by myself. I’ve found myself realizing my strengths, and this podcast is an experiment to see if I can produce things as well I as I can write them. This woman is kind of the shooting star I’m hitching on to, though. She’s hilarious, and can do a lot with her voice, so I feel like the two of us together really might be able to accomplish something with a wide appeal.
My on-again-off-again, will-they-wont they, Goku/Vegita, Ross and Rachel-esque partner; Tyler Fudge and I are in the midst of figuring out a series for the site as well. We’ve had ideas for a cannabis podcast, and also a video-based food show—but something tells me they might have just been stepping stones to the real idea. We spent a large piece of last year planning and dreaming up a serial comedy podcast called A Snack in Time, about two guys that time travel for obsolete snack foods, and I’m starting to think we should just focus on that, but who knows. We have a meeting Sunday, it should be good for us.
My third collaborative project was brought to me by a professional. I can’t talk too much about it, but I can say that I’ve officially been brought out of puppet master retirement. For the first time in years, I have a deep desire to build a friend out of foam and make them come to life, the fact I’ve been recruited to do it just sends me over the moon. This is something that I am going to bring the best of myself to, as I’m working with someone have immense respect for. I cannot wait for the challenge.
I’ve talked about a short story collection for a while now, but it’s turned into a pair of novellas and three short stories. I wanted to self-publish it for Christmas, but obviously that didn’t happen. I didn’t want to rush it, and with the progress I’ve made, I think a realistic goal is now September. Again, this is something that I want to be representative of the best of me. I want to be able to send this to agents and publishers and raise an eyebrow or two, so I’m taking my time, I’ve brought in outside eyes and I’m perfecting this. It’s not just something to entertain, but something to represent myself in the writing world—something more tangible than a blog.
The last project I have on the plate is a short film that I started writing/filming at random one night after seeing the movie Mandy with Nick Cage. Something just lit up the little boy inside me that used to make movies with his action figures, and it was swallowed by the sad little boy that found himself lost and exposed to the elements a few weeks ago. I’m not sure anyone will like it, I’m not even sure if they’ll understand it, as I barely understand it, but this movie plays in my head. I have to get it out there, and I think it’s actually within my reach to do that. Even if this ends up with 2 plays on YouTube, I need to finish it, and make it the best I possibly can.
Wish me luck. Should be a good year.