Power of the Divine

I upped my meds on Thursday night, I’m now taking what I’ve been told is the optimal dosage, 60mg of Nanobots per day. I feel alright—I noticed at breakfast that I’m restless and have developed a hell of a leg twitch, but it’s only day two of this amount, so I think I’ll be fine. It took about five days for the initial effects to iron themselves out last week, so I expect it’ll be the same this time around. I had a haircut this morning and another moment of clarity on the drive there; usually my stomach sinks as I get closer—the fear of small talk takes over and I’m usually all up in my head when I get there. Not today; like the grocery store last week, I rolled in like the breeze and didn’t think twice about anything. Self-consciousness be gone.

It’s been a good day. Since I woke from my nap, I’ve been working on theme songs. Fudge and I are working on a series called A Snack in Time, and the work has officially started. We recorded a promo for the series last week, and I’ve just emailed the person I want to play the narrator. The idea is that it’s an audio-cartoon with outlandish adventures through time in the name of snack foods, starring yours truly and his platonic life-mate, Tyler. I say platonic because the will-they/won’t-they is more drawn out than Ross and Rachel, ugh. I’m trying to catch a Futurama-like vibe for the song, and I’ve found some dope timpani lines that will work as a base, but this one’s got me scratching my head a bit. It’s hard to capture the vibe of something that doesn’t exactly exist yet.

The other one, though, is a mini-theme for a podcast called Gaming with the Cock, another one of Fudge’s projects. This one is fun, I get to flex my 8-bit video game muscles. I’m having serious flashback to all the afternoons I spent playing Mega Man X in my bedroom afterschool doing this—and I’m loving it. I was in the middle of that when I hit a road block, prompting this post. At least I’m productive when procrastinating.

What I really get from making music though, is the headspace I gain. It’s like when music is coming from my hands I exist in my own world where time is shaky, and I’m alone with my thoughts and personality. It’s a different headspace from say, the shower, where you can zone out into the white noise of the water and get some thinking done. It’s more active, it’s like my thoughts engage me just as much as I engage them. Playing a synthesizer and programming drums gets me to, like, level one of the headspace, but when I play guitar, the whole universe unlocks. I do my best thinking when playing guitar—it’s like the act of physically churning music out of my body separates my mind and partitions it into sections. The best thing I can do while writing is noodle around while staring at the word document. Every single breakthrough I’ve ever had, whether it be in writing or life, have come to me while playing guitar; like I’m able to tap into the power of the divine and harvest clarity.

Well, I should get back to it, mainly so I can get to writing more Datum—hopefully the third part will be up later tonight.

See you tomorrow.